Posted by: Dahni | June 2, 2008

Junesis (part 2)

© 06/02/08

 By Dahni

   Along with Juneis (June is), busting out all over, Juneis is also, a time of common chores for many. To reduce or entirely eliminate many of these activities allow us more time to enjoy ourselves.

   I have long been a fan of the figurative concept of ‘killing two birds with one stone.’ Whenever we can combine several events, we can save time which means, we have more time for fun stuff. To do this, I have made a list of common summer chores and devised new ways to ‘git em done.

1. Painting  

2. Washing the car

3. Lawn care

4. Taking a walk

5. Various remodeling projects

   1.   First we start with painting which is a thing many need to do; many do not want to do; perhaps are not good at; do not have the proper equipment or cannot afford to have it done professionally. Besides all of that, it takes a lot of time which could be spent doing something more fun. Now you can ‘git er done’ while you’re out and playing. Here are two suggestions:

   a. Place a large firecracker in an open can of paint (color of your choice). Place the can in the center of the room, light it, leave and go have fun. Please note that you should cover everything you do not want painted, especially windows and doors. Do NOT leave your pets, children, in laws or guests in the room. It is probably NOT  a good idea for exterior purposes (unless you want the color on everything outside). Due to the possibility that there may be people that might actually try this, I am compelled to state the following in BOLD RED. (Please don’t really try this)  🙂

   b. If you are in the military, ex-military or have access to some military surplus, you might try the following. Due to the possibility that there may be people that might actually try this, I am compelled to write the following in BOLD RED.

 (Please don’t really try this)  🙂

   Pull the pin from a grenade, toss it into the can of paint, leave and go have fun. Please note that you should NOT use a grenade with the pineapple design (as shown). Extra shrapnel will damage walls, woodwork and blow out your windows.

   2.  Next is washing your car. I love this one because it usually takes a lot of time and can be messy, not anymore! Besides that, how often does it seem to rain when you wash the car? Not to worry, just pack a lunch and the kids (wife/husband, girlfriend/boyfriend, whomever), and drive your car to the zoo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Elephants work for peanuts. Don’t forget the peanuts!

   3.  Third on our list of summer chores is lawn maintenance. WOW, this can get expensive and is highly time consuming. There is fertilizer, weed and pest control and watering all to consider. The following should solve every problem, depending on your particular situation or personal desire.

   a. If you do have grass, but no lawn mover, can’t afford the gas/oil/maintenance and blade sharpening or you just don’t want to mow, try this…

 

   A goat is great to keep your verb just the right height. Do not try this with sheep or other animals as they will eat the grass all the way to the ground. But goats are highly effcient grass cutters and will also eat the weeds and keep your lawn nice, neat and green. You might even make some money by contracting them out to your neighbors. Just remember to NEVER leave plastic, metal, rubber or anything you do not want to be eaten, anywhere near them!

   b. Plastic grass is great as it can be uniform in height and color. You can even use different colors if you like and this will either impress or distress your neighbors. Plastic grass can also be used for home putting greens, for those times you can’t get to the golf course. While you at it, you could replace all your flowers, bushes, and shrubs etc. with real-artificial ones. If your desire is realism, I guess you can also get plastic dandelions too? There is the initial cost of installing plastic stuff, but in the long run, it should save you time and money. You will have to vacuum and wash your plastic on a regular basis. Beware of falling, as plastic can give a nasty ‘rug burn.’

 

Multi-color options & maybe even your trees, bushes and flowers?  

c. Colored Concrete –

 

    Very uniform and weed free. Expensive initial cost.  It is a very hard surface and may have to be recolored and repaired from time to time. Blood is easily washed away if you get cuts and scrapes from playing backyard football.  🙂

  

   d. The best solution for perhaps most of us is spray painting –

   You can use cans of spray paint, but they are too time consuming and expensive. Just rent a spray painter. This method works great for patchy areas or where you just have a lot of dirt. It even hides the dandelions and other weeds. In no time at all, you will have a beautiful lawn the neighbors will all envy. Believe it or not, I knew a car dealership that actually painted their shrubs and bushes, so keep this mind too.   🙂

   4.  Taking a walk. Now this is an awesome way to take a walk, especially if you enjoy walking barefooted and prefer soft grass.

   This is so totally cool! It can be also used to roll out your new plastic, or concrete lawn. Don’t forget to water your grass walk-wheel regularly or use plastic grass. Please obey all traffic rules. Use care in jogging or running, especially downhill, as there are NO brakes!

   5. Various remodeling projects. These are a real time saver and mostly made from the stuff you were going to throw away, anyway.

   a.  The ‘Safety chair’ is made from sawed-off otherwise broken chair legs, paint from leftover paint cans, cardboard boxes and packing materials you never got around to recycling.

 

   This is great for people that are disturbed, prone to falling asleep, have had too much to drink or just those that seem to hit their heads a lot. It can also be turned onto its back and used as a makeshift playpen or baby crib.

   b.  Personal exterior home entertainment and reading area. Do you have an old stump in your backyard, a chair that has lost its legs, an old lamp, some speakers and an old color TV in your attic or basement? Don’t pay to haul them away, turn them into your own personal comfort zone.

   Cut out holes in the stump for speakers and a mount for your old stereo system. Install an electrical outlet to outside of stump that is hooked into an exterior grade extension cord (orange). Place legless chair onto stump. Place lamp and TV as you like it. Plug in, sit down and enjoy the outdoors. Please bring inside, the lamp and TV when the weather is lousy. It’s OK to read in the rain, if you like that sort of thing.

   c.  Personal air-conditioned reading room. Do you have an extra refrigerator that still works and just have not had hauled off? Save money by not having to run your home air-conditioning all the time. Do you need some quiet and alone time? Do you have some books you never quite got around to finishing? Does your favorite chair need to be replaced, but it’s too good to throw out or you don’t have the funds to have it reupholstered? With just a few modifications, this project will be perfect for you. It even has its own reading lamp and will keep your drinks cool.

      This gives a whole new meaning to the word, ‘chillin.’ It’s probably a good idea to have a wind up alarm clock on hand, just in case you fall asleep. Remember to wind and set your alarm prior to use. DO NOT USE HEADPHONES or your iPod, you may not hear the alarm going off, if you do fall asleep. Thawing can take some time.

   d.  Finally, your own home entertainment system. WOW the neighbors and really save a lot of money. You might even be able to charge admission? You most likely already have on hand, everything you’ll need for this project.

 

   Do you always miss some game on TV because you are cooking on the bar-b-que grill and the TV is inside? Not anymore, now you can cook and never miss a single sporting event, program or movie.

   Well, that’s about it. Time fails me to talk about such other things as goldfish ponds and really cool planters. Old tubs make ideal ponds. Old toilets filled with dirt make beautiful planters for flowers. Shoot, with any leftover paint from painting your lawn, paint the tub and toilet green too! Display yard signs showing everyone that you’ve ‘Gone Green!’ You’ll be saving a lot of green $$$’s too, besides helping the environment by recycling. You never know, you just might get a beautification award or at least some kind of notice from your neighborhood association.   🙂

   Now with these improvements, your Juneis, is really busting out all over!

Just Imagine,

Dahni


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