Posted by: Dahni | March 25, 2010


by Dahni

© 3/25/2010

Shortly after the United States House of Representatives passed the Senate Health Care bill on Sunday March 21st, 2010 and after the president signed it into law and the vice president said it was a “Big f—ing deal,” I received an email.

The email was an invitation of sorts, to join a new political party. It was called the ‘Pissed off Party,’ the P.O.P or POP for short.

This party seemed to have only one objective or a single agenda. Regardless of party affiliation, members of the P.O.P. are encouraged to vote out all incumbents in the next election.

Now this idea might appear to have some merit. I thought about this for a bit and initially focused on the words, “pissed off.” These words are indicative of the emotional state of being very, very much angry. Unchecked anger could lead to violence, as recent reports of threats upon certain members of Congress and a particular member whose office had a brick thrown through the window, implies. Perhaps a better name for the P.O.P. would be the Punch out Party?

But the stated purpose of the P.O.P. is to vote out all incumbents. Would not a better name be instead, the Push out Party?

I am not an advocate of violence. There must be a better way to respond to situations and even people that influence frustration and discontent among others. So after much thought on these matters, it was decided to call the P.O.P., the People only Party.

The P.O.P’s only agenda is to affect positive political change. Merely voting out one person of one party for another person of another party is not good enough.

So, the candidate for any office – local, state or national must be qualified. The qualification process must be simplified and verified.

First, all candidates must successfully answer (1) true or false question and choose the correct response from (1) multiple choice question.

True or False Question

The government of, for and by the People is not WE the People, but Me the People? T or F

(please circle either T or F above)

Please Note: A monkey has a 50-50 chance of getting the right answer. But monkeys are not eligible to apply.

Multiple Choice Question

You have 3 apples, owe 10 apples to pay for those 3 apples and 20 other people want apples. What do you do?

  1. Borrow more apples?
  2. Fix the books to show that you have paid off all debt, given away 20 apples and have a surplus of apples?
  3. Print more pictures of Apples?
  4. Cut costs, pay off debts and only give apples if you have them?
  5. Replace apples with oranges and call them apples?
  6. Keep three apples for yourself?
  7. Produce an apple budget based on apples that don’t exist or don’t exist yet?
  8. Sell the 3 apples you have?
  9. Loan the 3 apples?
  10. Trade the 3 apples for oranges?

(please circle the number from 1-10 of your answer above)

Please Note: A monkey has a 10% chance of selecting the correct answer. But monkeys are not eligible to apply.

All candidates regardless of any party affiliation, education, socio-economic status, race, color, creed or sex must clearly demonstrate:

  1. Prior to consideration, all candidates must have a complete ‘physical,’ psychological profile and psychiatric evaluation. It must be paid in advance by the candidate and the candidate must submit their paid receipts. Their attending physician must in writing state,“that thinking is good and healthy for this candidate.”
  2. They can speak, read, write and understand English.
  3. They cannot physically or otherwise, be able to speak out of both sides of their mouth.
  4. They understand what is, is.
  5. Must understand when the cameras are rolling and the microphone is on, while in public.
  6. Must understand that public life is like living in a fishbowl, especially in this age of technology and nearly instantaneous information. If candidate does not want the public to know what they do in private, then it is highly recommended that they do not engage in private, with what they do not want God or their Mom to know about.
  7. From the smallest child to the smartest mind, everyone can understand what you say and that, what you say, is what you mean.
  8. All candidates must understand and demonstrate that an alien or an immigrant that is not a citizen in this country is an illegal alien, an illegal immigrant or someone approved to be here for only a specific period of time. Identification and verification is a perfectly legitimate request of such an individual to prove and have verified.
  9. Regardless of educational background, all candidates must be able to prove that they are common people with common sense.
  10. Any legislation proposed must be read, must be able to be read and must be able to be understood by anyone of, for and by whom it is proposed.
  11. All candidates graduating from any institute of higher (lesser) learning with a major in political science are not eligible.
  12. All candidates must know, understand and have verified that they understand the difference between: agreements and deals; compromises and bribes; truth and spin (that spin is a lie); service and being served; rights and privileges; responsibilities and welfare and that there aint’ nothing in life for FREE!
  13. All candidates must enter into service (if chosen) and exit their limited term of service, richer for the experience in having served apples and not richer from being served apples.
  14. All candidates must have proven and verified experience in working with apples.
  15. No candidate that has ever served in politics in any capacity on the local, state or national level is eligible.

Note: The success of this pilot program with common sense; common people, has an equal if not a greater chance of succeeding, than using the current system of candidates that are highly educated ignoramuses or useful idiots.


The People only Party

And now a word from our Sponsor – Murphy’s Mortuary, makers of ‘Fab Slabs’

‘Monuments and Markers for the Moment You Meet Your Maker!’

“In the monument and marker business,” said Bill Murphy, C.E.O of Murphy’ Mortuary, “there’s a bit of folklore people need to understand.”

“In cemeteries and parks, statues of soldiers on horses are often found. Some believe there is some type of secret code which tells of how the rider met their demise. For lack of a better description, call this, the ‘Hoof Code.’ The ‘Hoof Code’ may be mostly true in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania and perhaps other areas depicting the Civil War period. But except for a few exceptions, the ‘Hoof Code’ is mostly not true or merely a folktale. Here is how the story unfolds.”

  • If the rider is on a horse with both front feet raised in the air, the rider died in battle.
  • If the horse has one front leg hoof raised, the rider has died from wounds sustained in battle.
  • If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the rider died of natural causes.
  • If all four legs of the horse are suspended in air, you need glasses, new glasses, to stop drinking or to stop taking drugs (perhaps all of those).
  • If there is no horse and only a statue of a person, it is most likely a politician with both hands in your pocket and both feet (hooves) in their mouth. They have died from unnatural causes.

When the moment matters most, meet yor’ maker with a ‘Fab Slab,’ rather than merely saying, “I was here.” Yall’ come see us, just not too soon!   🙂

Wily Bill Murphy, C.E.O – Murphy’s Mortuary

Just I-Magine,

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