Posted by: Dahni | June 9, 2012

Life According to Ass

by Dahni © 2012 all rights reserved

Ass Tomato

The question most people have already asked or will get around to asking eventually is –

What is Life?

If you think about it, stand in front of a full length mirror, turn around, drop your pants or skirt (or whatever you’re wearing) and your “undies,” and look between your legs into the mirror. Don’t you see an ass, your ass?

Have we not heard, read, thought about or told to watch our ass? Have you ever been told to get off your ass or to just stick it (whatever it is) up your ass?

OH, by the way, have you ever gone into the bathroom, turned around, dropped your drawers, reached behind you to raise the toilet lid and sat down on the bristle part of a toilet brush that someone forgot to remove and it hit you, right “where the sun don’t shine?”  If not, you just have not lived! And I personally never knew I could hit my head on the ceiling from a seated position! See: “up your ass” above.”   🙂

Note to writers: Don’t you just love it when while you are writing something,
some appropriate experience to what you are writing,
happens to you, the day your writing it!   🙂

Don’t we spend considerable time trying to cover our asses? Do you ever laugh your ass off? Do you ever, have you ever or do you know anyone that spends a lot of time kissing ass? Have you ever actually or wanted to kick some ass? Do you own a big can of ‘Whoop-Ass? Have you ever busted your ass?

Does this sound familiar? “Help, I’ve fallen on my ass and can’t get up.”

Have you ever sat on or do you know anyone that sits on their ass? Are you familiar with a lazy ass or a lame ass? Have you ever been, are you now or do you know anyone that is a dumb ass or a jackass?

What about a smart ass? Do you know any or have you ever been a smart ass? Are you right now?

Can you relate to any of the following?

Pompous ass – Selfish ass – Sick ass – Crazy ass – or just an “ass”

Some of us have too much ass or no-ass-atol‘.

There are those accused of and those accusing others of talking out of their ass.

Have you ever spent time or do you know anyone that spends time, trying to get a piece of ass?

Know any, have you seen any or have you ever been called or actually ever been an ass-hole?

Have you ever been really, really angry? Have you ever experienced someone that was really, really angry? Is it not thought and said, “I wonder what crawled up [his, her’s, their’s or your] ass?”

Then there are all those bugs hitting the windshields of our vehicles, while driving or the face shields of our helmets while cycling. Is not the last thing that goes through their minds when they hit, their ass?

Don’t you think we all might be just a little anal retentive (tight-assed)? If life is nothing more than about ass, while we are naked in front of the mirror, you and I might as well grab our ankles, reach up and kiss our ass good bye.

OH my ass (or your ass), what a wonderful, flexible, versatile and endearing word, ass!




Or how about this –




keep scrolling –




you’re almost there –




My sincerest apology if you think I am a sexist. Feel free to imagine Female to Female or Male to Female in the animation above and to replace the word “penis” with the word “vagina” if you like.   🙂

The point is, are there not other body parts that are supposed to be run by a brain?

Just I-Magine,


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