Walking Miles in My Shoes

by Dahni © 2014, all rights reserved

 

Good Morning. Walking miles in my own shoes? Well,  yes. I pulled out my old dirty, weather-worn and leather-cracked shoes today. Instead of making a bunch of metaphors out of them or a whole lot of judgments about them and myself, I decided to look at them in relationship to where I am personally, right now in my life and where I have been. It is difficult to plan a future if you do not know your present which came about and out from your past. I am a blessed man in this life! I am blessed of many things and by many people. I am not ungrateful. I am not unhappy. But I am not where I want to be! On September 12, 2014, I made some decisions. Today, is, September 26th,  just a mere 14 days or two weeks later. I wanted to share some of the results I have experienced.

I don’t smoke. I have saved $10 dollars per day. OK, that’s not much and I spent $150 on new gym fees (membership + 24/7 access and three personal training sessions one for FREE). I was already paying $20 a month for a gym that I have not been to for over 2 years. Yes, that’s crazy and around $440 was like opening a window and tossing it into the wind. But the $20 is a wash. The new gym is a lot closer to me so, I’m saving $’s in extra gas not being as quickly burned up. Still, savings of $140 – $150 spent for new gym + $20 by canceling the old gm = $10 saved in 2 weeks or about $1 per day that I would have otherwise,  just set on fire.

I’m sore today. I’m hurting today. I am feeling pains that I either have never felt before, in places I never could i-magine or it’s been a long time since I have felt these muscular aches and pains. Yes, I realize these are nothing compared to other people, but they are still aches and pains to me. Rather than whine about them here, I thought it was funny, to me, just trying to rise out of this chair to get a cup of coffee, when the rest of me felt too sore and pooped to go along!  Yep, my leg muscles tingled, drooped and would have just allowed me to drop to the floor, had I not found some extra effort from somewhere, to prevent me from hitting my face with the floor!   🙂

Hey, I knew I would gain weight without nicotine increasing my heart rate and suppressing my appetite. It was never a question IF I would gain weight, but WHEN? I would like to tell you this new activity is just about prevention and how smart I am, but I already had pounds to get rid of!

Well, before I go on, let me just say that for me, none of this is about what I have to give up, but what I want to gain!

I would like to tell you that the decisions made on 9/12/14, just involved not smoking or just losing weight, but there is so much more than this and it can be quite overwhelming. I was way beyond baby-steps then! No, I waited so long and so many things were so out of whack, I had no other choice, but to whack-em ALL, all at the same time! How do you do that? How do you start? Where do you begin? How does one get over whelm, when you are already, overwhelmed?

I just try to do some small things, little things and some long things every day. At the end of 2 weeks, I have now hung about 14 pictures or items on the walls of our home after nearly 2 years since we came here. Yes, that’s crazy too, but at least it’s about time! I do not procrastinate and since I am not, I do not put off, lie to myself and others and steal from myself and others. Stealing? Yes, even if it is time, it’s still, stealing! I am not a thief.

No, I am not a former smoker. I do not smoke! I am not a previous procrastinator. I do not procrastinate! I am not a rehabilitated thief, I don’t steal! I am not a loser. I’m a gain-er! I’m not in denial and not even renewal. I still have my old shoes. I want new shoes.!I’m in NEW-al!!   🙂

I am sleeping better, more, more efficiently and more regularly. I am drinking more water. I am deep breathing more deeply and more often. So, looking at my shoes, so to speak, I’ve come a long way in just two weeks! I’ve accomplished LOTs, when you add up all the daily – smalls, littles’ and longs.  I’m just two weeks into this and that’s about all I can handle, a month at a time. I’m not trying to get rid of all my bad habits. I’m not trying to judge or get rid of my old dirty shoes. I’m trying to add to my life. I want to buy some new shoes!   🙂

Sometimes we cannot appreciate the new shoes or the height of joy, without appreciating the old shoes or the depth of despair!

Why? Why am I doing this? What’s in it for me? I want to be a better earthen vessel with a treasure, for God to dwell in, for myself to live with and for others to be around!

Tomorrow is only another day, after yesterday has become today and today has been lived.

So, I’m on my way to day 15, the start of my new third week; in the first month, of my new year!

 

Just I-Magine,